How I feel today 10/31/15

dark thoughts cloud my mind
sadness slowly choking me
tears that beg to come forth
I can hear my heart breaking
my mind questioning
my soul lost
consumed by every little thing
could I have made it better
wanting to do the one thing
that I know will tear me apart
silence is my only answer
to keep from continuing the cycle
but how can I sit here
and not think of you
please help me break through
this dark cloud consuming me
making nothing worth while anymore
I want to feel something other then numb
I want to know that love is real
not just the nightmare I have lived
that there is someone out there for me
that isn't going to tear me inside out
that this life is more
than the endless tears and sadness
I keep telling myself stay strong
how do you do that when your so broken
how do you make the demons leave
when they wont stop screaming in your face
all I have is knowing
that this doesn't last forever
that one day my heart will heal
and my soul will shine again
I have to hold on to that bit of hope
or lose my mind forever